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Category Archives: Depression

Grieving is a bitch.

Normally, I’m a very composed person. With my training in PR, I’ve handled all sorts of situations and to be graceful under pressure. I never crack. I can tell people anything, no matter how devastating or funny, with a straight face. I have to be detached from the situation and just tell it as it is. My take on grieving is to do it privately. Suck it in, live with it. I am the poster child of calm.

But this is dad. My own Tevye. I don’t feel like talking to all these people, repeating everything over and over again from the President to the lowly janitor. It’s completely draining whatever I have left inside me.

And to have him gone all too quickly, without having the chance to really tell him what I wanted to say, resolve all my daddy issues, I have become such a wreck. I took time for granted. He was such a magnanimous person that one would think he would live forever.

I just want to sit by the coffin and look at him, and please, allow me to bawl like a baby no matter how scandalous I think it is (and probably scold myself later on).

So, yeah. Fuck me senseless and let me bury my head under the sheets.


‘Tis a sad day indeed. My dad just passed away at 5PM.  

I have yet to write a eulogy and I’ll be facing the media later.

And all I could think about is what to wear in front of the cameras.

I am one fucked up girl. 


I am the Mother of Destruction, to myself, to you.

It will always be complicated. It will always be crazy. Being. With. Me.

And this. Is the only way. I know how. To live.

Go. Now. Save. Yourself.